Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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