I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
