I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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