How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
