you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
