bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
