That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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