The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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