Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
