someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
id be glad to
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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