How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
