i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
