Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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