Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
