I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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