Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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