you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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