Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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