Girls should come with a carfax report
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
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So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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