That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
