Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
