Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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