what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
