people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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