my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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