its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
