I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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