don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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