i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
