Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You're like the curious george of whores
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
