I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
