yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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