If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
