sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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