Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
