I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Randomize
