The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
pray to the hookup gods
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.