i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out