life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?