We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
