Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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