I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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