absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize