please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
