I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
