Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
