Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize