I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"