So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime