Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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