I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
