Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
