He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
