last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
