I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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