I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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