I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
