everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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