There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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