i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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