I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
