Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
