i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize