Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
