What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
