Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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