Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
