so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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