Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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