Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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